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"ĐÂY LÀ 1 BÀI VIẾT RẤT CẢM ĐỘNG CỦA 1 BÁC SĨ Ở SINGAPORE VỪA QUA ĐỜI. MỌI
NGƯỜI CHỊU KHÓ ĐỌC, DÙ HƠI DÀI, NHƯNG LÀ 1 BÀI VIẾT RẤT XÚC ĐỘNG.
Mình chỉ muốn nói: HÃY
SỐNG, CHỨ ĐỪNG
TỒN TẠI, và SỐNG
VÌ MÌNH, CHỨ KO PHẢI SỐNG VÌ
NGƯỜI KHÁC.
Hãy gửi bài này đến cho nhiều người, đặc biệt là cho những người trẻ, và những người sắp trở thành bác sĩ tương lai... Cảm ơn!
From: Richard Teo
I
have re-read this a few times and each time, there is something
different I have learned. Spend the next 15 mins of your time to read
it. It may be one of best thing you have read about concerning your life
journey.
Below
is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who is a 40-year-old
millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer but
selflessly came to share with the D1 class his life experience on
19-Jan-2012. He has just passed away few days ago on 18 October 2012.
Hi
good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear
with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a
medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life.
It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you
thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to
become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively
successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a
below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me
that happiness is about success. And that success is about being
wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since
I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success
in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get
trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award,
national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since
young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you
may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the
most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I
was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research
scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical
devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this
academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed
my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training
in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be
made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years,
there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made
there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time
to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my
aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP
(general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes
out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay
$20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand
dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast
augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do
you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of
healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified
beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with
waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months,
then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients.
Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second
doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're
already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough
because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to
get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a
procedure done. So life was really good.
So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends?
Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with
spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll
go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my
life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At
that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This
is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So
he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the
silver one.
So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to
build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our
own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well,
we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one
of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and
famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend
our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you
know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was
at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym
and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching
the pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About
last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere.
I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to
SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc
or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found
bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that
mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was
like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you
know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission
scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I
was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the
brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I
was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control,
thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment,
I have just lost it.
This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every
single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in
fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that
even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my
life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into
depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.
See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the
trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me
happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression.
Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The
thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is
not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten
months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But
it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was
interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely
care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify
the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me,
happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought
those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it
did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most
down..
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the
past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my
rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought
that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really
think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty
trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing
me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t
be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends
meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more
like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact,
sometimes even hatred.
Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off
to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring
any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they
were real joy.
Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was
about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom
I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends.
And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would
actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like
why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The
truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to
death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out
of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of
evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?
There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be
able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from
medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every
day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I
see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all
the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their
pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last
breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day,
to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the
patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it,
I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No.
Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all
the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they
feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand
how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different
doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will.
Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you
have to learn it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey
to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.
Inevitably,
all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start
to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can
bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there
is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy,
absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like
myself couldn't handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I
have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became.
Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more
possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what
society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really
mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to
squeeze every single cent out of these patients.
A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We
become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was
what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental
fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes
we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas.
And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at
this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and
who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope".
We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to
make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our
fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no
qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an
advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical,
dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral
compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.
Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we
start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice,
I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient
folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I
can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as
possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it
becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I
truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and
anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I
don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the
biggest flaws in our system.
We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and
all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to
get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we
actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us
won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you
is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though
it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know,
right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can
tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things
that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just
suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can
retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever
little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients
because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's
kind of little too late and too little.
You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and
energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate
patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in
pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people
suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in
the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are
happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are
suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and
so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we
just don't want to know that they exist.
So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become
professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to
these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large
difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels,
someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot
of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a
treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things
happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you
today.
I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called
Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows
that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is,
none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently.
When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff
totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot
of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I
know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is
what I’m going through.
Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you
what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this
life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that
you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live
your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and
you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are
going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true
happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it
didn't turn out that way.
Also most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not
knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God –
but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think
that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.
So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the
priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no
other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to
God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major
accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car
accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive,
even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a
chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I
was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened,
it gave me a chance to come back to God.
Few things I’d learnt though:
1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.
There
is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely
alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good
wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more
we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we
dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth
and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just
a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.
We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we
start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you
start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember
that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor
have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember
that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further
ourselves.
Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth
without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth,
as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to
fill it up with the wealth of God.
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